Source: PwInsider, written by Matt Carter

JCW Above The Law iPPV Report 

I think this is a new venue for JCW.

The screen showed a JCW banner until about 7:15 and then switched to a live shot with the countdown music.

Lots of new banners and a new entrance.  It even sports a disco ball, is Disco Machine here?

As DJ Clay, Shaggy 2 Dope, and KG Kevin Gill are introduced...you can really tell that they spent som serious cash on this new entrance.  Man this looks really good.  These iPPVs just keep getting better.

KG runs down the card for the night.  The guys said they actually turned away people from the venue because of fire code.  They said that this venue used to be a church.

As we get ready for the first match, Upchuck the Clown (ring announcer) leads out the blonde ring girl with the "Match #1" Card

Match #1 -  Special Handicap Match:   Kongo Kong with Truth Martini vs. Bumpin' Ugly #1, #2, and #3

Truth takes the mic and says he has something to say.  He gets a "You Suck D**k" chant.  Truth says he has not been a happy man lately.  He says he is mad because Butler Jeeves is no longer the JCW Champion.  He is also mad because the strongest force in JCW, Kongo Kong, hasn't gotten the respect he deserves.  Truth says some people think he isn't playing with a full deck, but he plays with nobody.  Everyone must respect Kongo Kong and tonight they will demonstrate his awesome power tonight.

All three Uglies attack Kong before the bell and dominate with the numbers game and beat Kongo Kong down to the mat.  The Uglies do some double team work and actually get a pin, but Kong gets mad and fights his way up.  Head buts and clotheslines to the Uglies in the corners.  Kong hits a chokes slam, big power slam, and a hits a splash in the corner.  Now Kong goes to the top rope and hits a big splash for the 3 count.

Your Winner, Kongo Kong!

Truth and Kong celebrate in the ring and Kong holds Truth and The Book of Truth on his shoulders.  Kong is a very large man.

The announcers talk about 2 Tuff Tony and how it took him 13 years to win the JCW Championship on the last iPPV and show a video about how it happened.

Match #2 -  The Weedman with Officer Colt Cabana vs. Rob Conway

Weedman came out to his normal music smoking a joint and Colt's music interupts and Colt makes his way to the ring with a mic.  He accuses a member of the crowd of being a prostitue and then yells at the Weedman.  "F**K the Police" chant.  Colt accuses Weedman of hitting him in the head last week and blaming it on CM Punk.  Colt then takes out the hood in a plastic bag and says that Weedman's finger prints are on it so he cuffs Weedman.  Officer Colt says he is gonna enjoy taking Weedman to jail and personally raping him in the ass but first he is going to make him fight a match in handcuffs.  Colt announces Rob Conway.

Weedman avoids Conway but finally gets caught with knee strikes in the corner.  Conway takes Weedman to the center of the ring and hits some big uppercuts and stiff forearms to the face.  Conway stomps Weedman on the mat.  Weedman gets up and manages a few shots but is hit with a power bomb.  Conway with shots ot the head while Weedman is down.  The annoucers remind us that Conway is only here for the money is a goon for hire in JCW.  Conway contiues to dominate and hits a short arm clothes line and locks in a sleeper.  Weedman fights his way to his feet but Conway locks his legs and takes Weedman down while still holding the choke.  The ref calls for the bell.

Your winner, by submission, Rob Conway!

After the match, Officer Colt pays Rob Conway cash and takes the mic.  Colt says the money is courtesy of the fine tax payers in Michigan and tells Weedman he is on traffic duty.   Colt says he has hired a new man of the law.  When he needs him he will call on him to beat 2 Tuff Tony to become the JCW Champion because "I AM THE LAW".  Damn Colt is funny!

Things Gordon Solie never said: "That makes me want to throw up out of my a**hole".  Seriously!

Match #3 -  Sabu with Charlie Brown vs. U-Gene with Zach Gowen
I always pop for "from Bombay, Michigan".  The announcers wonder why a legend like Sabu would have the services of Charlie Brown and turned his back on the Juggalos.  Zach grabs a headset and joins the guys on commentary.  Sabu is letting his hair grow back it looks like.

They start the match with a tie up and clean break.  Sabu then hits a forearm and throw U-Gene into the ropes and hits and elbow.  U-Gene then hits a hiptoss and takes Sabu by surprise.  U-Gene with a wristlock and Sabu counters.  Sabu then sets in with an armbar but U-Gene reverses with a roll up for a two count and tries to ride Sabu like a horsey.  Sabu is mad and tries to re group.  They lock up and U-Gene gets a take down, Sabu fights up and forces U-Gene to the corner with a knee to the gut.  U-Gene takes Sabu around to hit all the turnbuckles.  U-Gene hits a big boot and leg drop Hogan style.  U-Gene winds up for Sweet Chin Music but Sabu hits a chop to his throat and gets a quick pin.

Your Winner, Sabu!

Match #4 -  Amber O'Neal vs. Randy The Ring Girl with Britney Force

The announcers note that this is the first ever women's match in JCW.  Britney takes the mic and says that Randy is ready to kick the s**t out of Amber even though she is not finished with her wrestling training.

Randy takes down Amber with a spear and shots to the head.  Now a big toss by the hair a couple times.  Randy hits a suplex for a 2 count.

Things Gordon Solie never said "I like t***ies."

Now Amber starts to take over and hits a big facebuster.  Amber continues to put the boots to Randy and chokes her on the bottom rope for a 4 count.  Amber hits a suplex and gets a 2 count.  Amber with a knife edge chop and a big kick to the back.  Amber gets a pin but Randy kicks out at 2.  Amber pulls her up and throws Randy into the corner and puts a shoulder to the mid section.  Amber takes her to the other corner and hits the Booty Bop.  Interesting move.  Amber drags Randy by the hair and hits a big Russian leg sweep and had a pin but pulls Randy up at a 2 count.  She hits a backdrop on Randy and again pulls her up at a 2 count.  Now Britney Force throws in the towel and Amber is named the winner.

Your Winner, Amber O'Neal!

After the match, Randy gets upset with her trainer as they leave.

Match #5 - Special 3 Way Match: Jimmy Jacobs vs. Superstar Bill Martel vs. Zach Gowen with U-Gene

At this point, I must say it is odd to be watching wresting and see shots of stained glass church windows.

Really funny moment.  When Bill Martel comes out he stops at the announce table.  He says he really likes the guys but they have very filthy mouths and gives them each a cake of soap to wash out their mouths.  That was hillarious.  U Gene is gonna be on commentary...oh good lord.
 
Jimmy Jacobs starts the match by grabbing the mic.  He tells the guys that while they wrestle he is going the share his feelings in poetry form.  Oh this is great.  Gowen catches Jacobs with an elbow and hits a cork screw over the top rope onto  Jacobs and Martel.  Gowen tries for a sling shot leg drop but Jacobs gets out of the way.  Jacobs takes out Martel on the outside and Gowen starts to get hot.  U Gene is actually pretty hillarious...its hard to do this coverage.  Ok, now Martel catches Gowen on the tope rope and gets a 2 count.  Martel rakes the boot laces across the face of Gowen.  Now Jacobs takes the mic again to read his poem but Martel stops him.  They both get a drop kick from Gowen.  Jacobs and Martel exchange blows while Gowen watches in the corner.  U Gene is flat out hillarious.  Gowen gets a figure three leg lock on Martel but Jacobs breaks it up.  Jacobs clears the ring and grabs the mic to again try and read his poetry.  I am laughing so hard.  Gowen trips up Jacobs and Martel gets a roll up for a 2 count.  Martel with a clothesline on Jacobs for a 2 count.  Martel misses a leg drop from the second rope and now Jacobs with a suplex for a 2 count on Martel.  Announcers would good to note this isn't a 3 way dance since its one pin fall.  Jacobs now to the top rope and Gowen crotches him.  Martel catches Gowen and now sets up for a superplex on Jacobs while Gowen hits the moonsault on Martel for the pin
 
Your Winner, Zach Gowen!

This was a really good and REALLY funny match.

After the match. Gowen says "That is how you do it, U-Gene" and U-Gene gets upset and Jacobs is tweeting as he leaves the ring.

Match #6 -  Breyer Wellington with Butler Jeeves and Truth Martini vs. Rhino

Man, does Rhino look good.

They tie up and Rhino takes Breyer to the corner and we get a clean break.  They circle around and then lock back up.  Breyer get Rhino in a wrist lock.  Rhino counters.  Breyer gets his leg outside the ring to force a break.  Rhino gives him a clean break while Truth rubs Breyer's arm.  Rhino hits a big shoulder takle and then a short arm clothes line.  Rhino then takes Breyer to the corner for repeated blows to the head.  Rhino drags Breyer back in the ring the hard way, but Breyer catches Rhino with a shot. 

Rhino reverses and gets Breyer into the corner.  Rhino now with a snap suplex.  Rhino sets up for the gore but Truth steps in the way.  Breyer tries a shot from behind but Rhino saw it coming.  Breyer then hits a backstabber out of knowhere for a 1 count.  Breyer hits a kick to the back and tries to keep Rhino down.  Breyer distracts the ref while Truth strangles Rhino on the ropes.  Breyer gets a 2 count.  Breyer hits a big knee drop for a 2 count.  Breyer keeps hitting Rhino with shots but he won't stay down.  Breyer locks in a sleeper but Rhino quickly battles out.  Rhino into the ropes and Breyer hits an elbow that knocks Rhino out of the ring.  Breyer drags Rhino back in the ring for a  2 count.  Breyer applies a front face lock again to try and keep Rhino down but he powers up.  Rhino gets in some shots and sends Breyer to the corner. 

He tries to follow up but gets a boot to the face.  Breyer now is going to the top rope for a moonsault but no one is home.  Rhino misses a gore and Breyer gets a roll up for a 2 count.  Stiff shots by Rhino and Kongo Kong hits the ring and takes out Breyer by mistake.  Rhino makes the cover for the pin.

Your winner, Rhino!


Special Music Guest Time...So time for a break...before that KG says that Britney Force will take on Amber ONeal in 2 weeks.

After the music, we come back with a video package about the formation of M.O.B.

Match #7 - The M.O.B. (Mean Old Bastards) Bull Pain and Tracy Smothers with Izza Bella Smothers vs. the JCW Tag Team Champions The Ring Rydas (Non Title Match)

Tracy starts out with Ryda Red.  He knocks him down with a stiff forearm.  Smothers dominated red but Red hits a springboard back elbow and the Rydas hit a double drop kick for a 2 count.  Red is back in and is sent to the ropes and Izza trips him up.  Tracy tags in Bull Pain and he stomps a mud hole in Ryda red.  Bull hits a big head but and rakes Red's eyes across the top rope.  Then Pain jaws with the ref and Red is getting triple teamed.  Tracy Smothers now in the ring with Red.  Red hits a reverse into a sunset flip for a 2 count but Tracy kicks out and hits some big shots.  Tracy gets a 2 count.  Now Red is boxed into the wrong corner and Bull is tagged in and hits a big sit out power bomb.  Ryda Blue breaks up the pin fall.  Ryda red is trying to fight back but the numbers game is killing him.  Bull is back on the stiff offense and hits an elbow off the ropes.  Now Smothers in and gets a 2 count.  Tracy holds Ryda Red with a chin lock.  Red fights up with shots to the guy but Smothers beats him back down and tags in Bull Pain.  Red does a couple flips for the tag to Blue who comes in with a double drop kick.  He gets a cover on Tracy but Bull breaks it up.  Now Ryda blue and Bull Pain, blue from the top rope with an elbow and got a 2 count.  Smothers in now working over blue in the corner with chops.  Now the Rydas double team Tracy in their corner.  Ryda hits a frog splash on Tracy for a 2 count and Bull Pain breaks up the pin.  Red and Bull Pain in the ring.  The Rydas hit a big double team move on Bull but Izza drags the ref out of the ring. Blue and Bull Pain in the ring.  Bull hits a DDT for the 3 count

Your winners, The Mean Old Bastards!

After the match the MOB continue to work over the Rydas until Necro Butcher and Mad Man Pondo (the #1 contenders) make the save.

Pondo takes the mic and says that the MOB pissed off the wrong guys.  He says no one knows revenge like he and the Necro Butcher.  Pondo says he's been in the business for 22 years and never been knocked out until Bull Pain.  Pondo says no matter where they go, they might be there waiting.

Between the matches, the announcer ponder that age old question. Why are there not two referees for a tag team match?

Match #8 -  Kevin Thorn vs. Corporal Robinson

Thorn is sporting that "new" look he had for ECW before he was released.  A cross of the vampire and 7even thing.  He looks pretty good.

The announcers remind us that the former champ is working his way back up the JCW ladder back to the title and is undefeated since he lost the title.  Now he takes on Kevin Thorn, billed as a seasoned veteran, in what I think is his first JCW match.  Not sure about that though.

Thorn attacks Corp before the bell outside the ring.  He works Corp over and they start brawling through the crowd.  Thorn has the advantage and they continue to brawl.  The announcers wonder if Thorn's vampire power is reduced because they are in an old church...oh that's funny.  Thorn now choking Corp out on the guard rail.  Corp finally manages to get in a few shots and then a series of headbutts.  Now Thorn is tossed in the ring.  Corp with a low drop kick and Thorn is hanging on the ropes.  Corp hits a baseball slide and sends Thorn into the guard rail.  I was just informed Thorn was at last year's gathering...so I was wrong.  Corp now with a chair and beating on Thorn.  Thorn tries a suplex out of the ring but Corp breaks it up for a big forearm of the ropes.  Corp is setting up 2 chairs in the ring.  Corp tries to suplex Thorn on the chairs but he fights out and Thorn puts Corp through the chairs.  Thorn makes his way to his feet and grabs a chair to drill Corp.  Now a few shots to the back of Corp with that chair.  Corp gets a low blow to stop the beating but Thorn throws the chair on his head.  Thorn now goes to the outside and is looking under the ring.  He finds a nice folding table.  Perhaps he is gonna sell 8x10s and T Shirts?  Thorn sets up the table in the corner of the ring and Corp is still down.  Thorn tries another chair shot but Corp gets in a few shots and then hits a super kick.  The kick puts Thorn into the table.  Then Corp runs and puts his kneed into the face of Kevin Thorn.  Corp sets up and hits a Boot Camp on the steel chair

 Your winner, Corporal Robinson!

 

The announcers note that Corp is the #1 contender, but Tony is the champ.  Juggalos don't fight Juggalos.


The announcers note that Corp is the #1 contender, but Tony is the champ.  Juggalos don't fight Juggalos.

Things Gordon Solie never said: "Put that on your f**ing Facebook!"

Match #9: Main Event for JCW Championship - Officer Colt Cabana with US Marshall Adam J Pearce v. JCW Champion 2 Tuff Tony

Deputy Weedman comes out with Colt but he sends him to the back and grabs the mic.  He tells the Weedman to get lost.  He tells DJ Clay to hit the music and Colt introduces US Marshall Adam Pearce.  Pearce has a great police costume on.  Nice surprise.  Colt and Adam arrest one of the gals for prostitution for giving hummers in the back.  The guys handcuff the girl to the corner.  Why don't I see fans in thongs when I go to wrestling shows?
Pearce and Colt really berate the gal they arrested and she is really playing along well.

Belt is held up, bell rings...here we go

Colt and Tony staredown face to face.  Colt pushes Tony and Tony pushes back but that takes Colt to the mat.  Colt regroups and they lock up.  The tie up in the corner and Tony gets the advantage.  Colt heads out of the ring while Marshall Pearce tears up some signs.  Colt with a kick to the gut and some big forearm shots.  Tony reverses and sends Colt head first into the turnbuckles.  Colt again bails out of the ring for protection by Marshall Pearce.  Tony rallies the crowd as Colt comes back in the ring.  Colt tries for a kick but gets caught.  Tony hits a big shoulder block and an atomic drop.  Then Tony takes out the knee with a low drop kick.  Tony with a kick to the chin for a 2 count.  Colt is outside the ring and Pearce is using his flashlight to check Colt's eyes...awesome.  Tony catches them and throws Colt back in the ring.  Pearce gives Colt the flashlight and he clocks Tony and now Colt is in control.  Colt with a pin but doesn't hook the leg and gets a 2 count. Colt with some right hands to Toony and then hits one off the ropes for a 2 count.  Colt with 2 more pins for 2 counts and he's getting frustrated.  Now Colt has a chinlock.  Tony makes his way to his feet and Colt whips him off the ropes, Tony gets a sunset flip for a 2 count.  Colt now hits an elbow off the ropes and Tony is down.  Colt took his time to make the pin so he only gets a 2 count.  Colt continues to deliver right hands. 

Tony finally blocks a shot and gets in a few.  Pearce now gets in a big blow from the outside with the flashlight and Tony is down.  Colt pulls him up for a series of double over hand chops. Colt misses an elbow and is hit by Tony with a kick.  Double clothes line and they are both down. 

The lights in the building are flickering as the announcers mention power is blacking out all over the state because of the heat.  Tony blocks a couple shots and is finally getting going.  Back body drop and 2 clotheslines on Cabana.  Tony with a slam and goest to the top rope.  He hits something different.  Not sure what that was.  But he got a 2 count with it.  Colt now goes to the top but gets caught on the top rope. 

Tony goes for the guillotine leg drop and gets a 2 count.  Colt hits the ref by accident.  Tony gets a roll up but no ref.  Pearce comes in and now the two work over Tony.  Tony managed a double clothes line.  Pearce back to the outside of the ring.  Tony hits a moonsault off the middle of the 2nd rope on Cabana.  Pearce hands in a baton to Cabana.  Tony loads up the lighted fist. 

He light it up but Pearce puts out the fire and then Colt clubs him in the skull.  The refs makes a very long slow 3 count.

Your Winner and NEW JCW Champion, Colt Cabana!

After the match, Cabana puts the JCW belt into an evidence bag....

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A very good show overall.  The 3 way was a lot of fun and Colt is always good and Sabu was there.

More than worth $5. 

The next show's main event is Corporal Robinson vs. JCW Champion Officer Colt Cabana.